I keep on promising myself that now’s the time to get back into the rhythm of blog writing – but the well has been dry for some time.  After all, what do you have to say after taking your 100 year old father to the ER five times, visiting him through two stints in the hospital and one long trip to rehab?  It’s difficult to focus on my own needs when I’m tending to my father.

And yet, life goes on.

I envy those who have something to say on their blogs, no matter what!

Actually, I have a lot to say!  I’ve been listening to Isaacson’s  biography of Steve Jobs – inspiring and maddening at the same time!  Gosh – did Jobs have to be so mean to the people in his company?  Did he have to tear them down, dress them down, talk them down in order to get the best out of them?  I can see why it may have been maddening to work for him!

When I hear that he had a tendency to take someone’s idea that he called “shit” last week and return the following week with it as a great idea – which he characterized as his own – I’m reminded of a personality profile I studied many years ago which was based on research that was originally undertaken with children.

There were six types, among them one who learned by saying no and taking others’ ideas as his/her own.  Sounds much like Jobs.  Yet he was also another type that was mentioned in this profile – a Doer – he got things done!  He was a combination of both styles.

I’m hoping I’ll learn more about his redeeming  features and what it was that drove him to gift the world with so many gadgets we didn’t know we needed!

I do still believe that we can get things done without being mean to each other – we can inspire, cajole, challenge and build up!  That’s what we coaches are trained to do.

Right?

Coming on line….Again!

Whew!  It’s been some year – I’ve been attending to my Dad who turned 100 in June and I have not been paying attention to this blog!  Have you noticed?

Anyway, Dad is now content in his new assisted living surroundings in Duluth, MN and I am starting to think about what’s next for me. After the publication of my last book, Scrappy Startups, I have decided to continue my exploration of social entrepreneurs and increase my understanding and yours of this wonderful phenomena.  I’ve thought of people doing business and doing good from the perspective of fun, meaningful and profitable, but others characterize it as people, planet and profit.

However we slice it, the time is ripe for work oriented for the social good.

I will be looking for people to include in my next book which I am tentatively calling The Start of Something Big, in concert with the name of my Web site.  I hope you will join me on this journey of discovering the best in the world of social entrepreneuring and will offer some suggestions of people I may want to interview.

It’s good to be back!

Melanie

As you can see, I have been off my blog for many moons.  I am reviving my blog again in hopes that I will have something worthwhile to share with you.

My editor of  Scrappy Startups is requesting a new proposal.   I’m mulling this over.  I just self-published a book about my Dad who will be turning 100 on June 23rd.  I’m wondering what the value is of having a publisher these days rather than publishing a book myself.

Many years ago I read about the process of dis-inter-mediation.  This was a factor we’d be seeing more and more of as time went on and we are indeed seeing it.  Disintermediation means we have fewer and fewer people mediating between what we are engaged in.  For example – I can directly publish a book through Blurb.com rather than have to go through the process of submitting a proposal to a publisher and being at their discretion about wanting to publish my book or not.  I can go directly to a Web site and book a flight, rather than having to go to a travel agent to do so.

Distermediation has had the effect of eliminating many jobs for people, but at the same time, it allows people to have more independence and ability to publish a book or book a flight on their own.  Is it good or bad?  It depends which side of the disintermediation divide you happen to be on!

What do you think?

Until next time,

Melanie

Talk about genius! (My last blog entry) I came upon a podcast on itunes that is a real gem. This is produced by the University of Minnesota, practically in my backyard, and dates back to 2002 to the present. Some of the brightest people show up on these dialogues which seem to take place three times a year.  Last night I listened to Dan Pink talk about the concepts behind his popular book A Whole New Mind. And today I’m listening to Richard Bolles (author of What Color is your Parachute) and Dick Leider (author of The Power of Purpose) talk about career change and finding your mission. This is not to miss, especially if you are wondering about your life mission! You can hear this conversation two different ways.

One way is to find the podcast Great Conversations through the itunes store through the itunes interface. The podcasts are free! (If you don’t have itunes on your computer, go to apple.com/itunes and download the software for free.)

Another way is to follow the link to this flash player and hear the Bolles/Leider dialogue here.

You’ll find two masters of the subject of life mission or calling having a great conversation about this topic with each other – and if you’re not inspired to either find your mission or live your mission if you already know it, then you may be missing a gene or two!

Enjoy – and if you feel so moved, do join me back here for a dialogue about this subject.

Until next time,

Melanie

P.S. If you want to listen to the dialogue with Dan Pink (well worth the time) who explores how we need to rethink everything in this 21st Century, follow this link.

I told my friend Jean Feraca, host of Here on Earth recently how much of a genius I feel in her presence.  She always brings out the best in me.  She told me that was one of the nicest compliments she ever received.  Truthfully, I was not going for buttering her up – I was sincere in my admission.  Some people set a climate for our inner geniuses to emerge – Jean is one of those people for me.

We’ve had a friendship for almost two decades, starting when I was a guest on her earlier radio program, Conversations with Jean Feraca. That very first time I appeared on her program, promoting my first book, Fired for Sucess:  How to Turn Losing Your Job into the Opportunity of a Lifetime! I came away sounding like a brilliant person and I glowed in the aftermath.  My husband who tends to be my most truthful mirror greeted me after that show with a thumbs up.  He was proud and happy for me and was pleased with how articulate I sounded in his opinion.  While he loves me, he’s not apt to heap praise if he doesn’t mean it or see evidence for what he’s saying.

I feel the same level of genius in relationship with so many of my clients – I see the genius in them and they in turn see the genius in me.  It’s a mutual admiration.  In such a climate we both shine.  I have more high quality questions for them and they feel energized and ready to conquer the world.  Their saboteur voices in their heads seem to diminish and they are off to their dream pursuits – career exploration, entrepreneurial development and becoming authors.

In light of my experience with Jean and the exchange I have with so many of my clients, I have been contemplating what are the elements that bring out the genius in all of us?  It’s in there – waiting to be tapped, but it needs a safe and courageous space as a foundation in which to emerge.

For starters, we feel more of our genius when we are not being judged.  That is the beginning place.  That’s not to say everything that comes out of our mouths is brilliant; it just means setting an atmosphere in which we are seen as having something worthwhile to share.

Next, the other person needs to be encouraging – liking what’s being said and egging the partner on for more. “Gosh, that’s a great idea, it reminds me of ____”, might be the retort.

Each person builds on what they other is saying and energy grows and grows.

There’s also an expansiveness that makes it seem as time has been still and we have all the time in the world – no rush, just excitement.

I’m sure there are other elements, and I’d like to explore them with you, but for now, start noticing yourself – what are the conditions under which your genius is apt to emerge?  Who are the people around whom you feel the smartest?

Start noticing this and together we may be able to identify more and more of this.

Thanks for considering this with me.

Until next time,

Melanie

Today I have been reaching out to people to ask for endorsements for my book. It’s quite a humbling experience. It kicks up my comparison gremlins as well as my I’m-not-as-far-along-as-I-should-be-by-this-point gremlins.  I’ve had to put these characters inside my head in the corner and have given them cookies to shut them up!  I’ve also decided to write this blog to you as another way to deal with this issue.

For Pete sake – I’ve got the credentials, I’ve written two books – when do I get a break from these inner demons who want to play havoc with me?  I think we all get to have these demons – it’s rare that they go entirely away.  It’s what we choose to do with them that’s important.  I’m choosing not to pay attention to them.

I remember one of my mentors, Henry Kimsey-House, co-founder of CTI, telling our leadership group that we all have voices in our heads like the character in the movie A Beautiful Mind.  I might have even written about that here once before.  But like the schizophrenic lead character in that movie, we don’t have to choose to listen to our most debilitating voices.

So much of what we’re up to today tends to kick up the comparison demons.  If we’re job searching, we’re scrutinized and feel like we’re being judged by every Tom, Dick and Harriet who happens to pick up our resume.  If we’re in our own business, it’s our potential customers or clients who do the judging – how do we stack up with the competition we and everyone wants to know.

But frankly, it should be none of our business.  Our business is just being our best selves, following our values and putting our unique qualities, abilities and interests out there in the marketplace.  The more authentic we are, ironically, the greater the chance that someone will like what we’re offering and will agree to try it on for size.

Don’t you agree?

Until next time,

Melanie

Today in conversation with a client who has recently left corporate America – actually she lost her job with thousands of others at her company – we started sifting through who she wants to be as she reconstitutes herself. She’s considering a combination of consulting, training and coaching.  But she’s wondering about her stint in the corporate world.  She had to give up so much of herself to fit there.  We both laughed when we thought of the book title, Do I have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You? and recognized how appropriate it could be seen as the compromise for fitting into corporate America!

This naturally right brained woman found herself leaning more heavily on her left brain, working the many years she did in the corporate arena.  She’s read Dan Pink’s A Whole New Mind and realizes that what’s really needed today is a person who uses both sides of the brain.  But many corporations or more specifically people in corporations won’t yet bow to that need.  So many corporate environments are steeped in traditions that keep people chained to processes that go against their own natures.  What’s with this?

When we think of relationships in which one partner gives up his or own nature to exist in a relationship we consider that co-dependence.  It seems to me I remember reading a book many years ago that likened workers in corporations to co-dependent partners.  So that analogy is not surprising.  But if we agree that this arrangement is not healthy in familial relationships, why do we put up with it in a work environment?  Do we have to give up being ourselves to keep our jobs in corporate America?

Obviously not.  This woman turned herself into a pretzel, but lost her job anyway.  So why not just be ourselves in the corporate environment?  If we tend to be right brained, why not show our stripes?

This whole question reminds me of the first wave of women who entered corporate America in droves, my cohort, the baby boomers.  We had to learn how to dress for success, don that navy blue suit and enjoy the privilege.  We had to make ourselves look like we fit in as much as possible.

But then we forgot who we were (some of us) along the way.  Many in younger generations are not standing for this.  But I must admit: I do still see numbers of people who are continuing to turn themselves into pretzels to stay in corporate America.  And they are not happy about it.

I challenge you to consider this question:  Are you giving up being you to stay put in the work environment you’re in?  Are you satisfied with this arrangement?  If not, what are you going to do about it?

I’d love to help you tackle that question.  The work world needs the real you, not a pseudo you!

Until next time,

Melanie

More and more I find myself quoting what I’ve learned from my book, Scrappy Startups to my clients.  I had hoped that my book would inspire people to create their own businesses and I’m finding that is true .

What can be more inspiring to people serious considering a start up business of their own than to hear how others have done this?  After all, when we begin to let ourselves dream about the possibilities of a business, the glow of creation is often followed by the slam of the gremlin voice telling us how what we were thinking was actually rather ridiculous.  I wrote earlier about the various ways in which this reluctant part of us tries to do us in when we make moves towards something new.

But today I want to talk about the inspiration side of things:  How the actual way in which someone just like us has made the dream in her heart a reality.  After all, if another person has been successful at doing something, it’s an indication that we too can do that act as well.  Interestingly, NLP – neuro-linguistic-programming, a process that allows us to find strategies for success was created from studying the success of outstanding therapists such as Virginia Satir and Fritz Perls.  If a whole industry can grow up around the notion that one person’s success can lead to another’s, surely we can apply this notion to successful entrepreneurship.

One of the amazing issues I uncovered from the women I interviewed while writing Scrappy Startups is that just about every one of them did not think about the money they were going to make when they had successful businesses.  They were more oriented towards the creativity that their business was unleashing in them and the good works they were putting out in the world.

Don’t get me wrong, these were not saints; they were ordinary human beings who had to make a living, but they found perhaps almost by happenstance, that money was simply the by-product of doing something they could put their heart and soul into.  And with the advent of the Internet and more ways to reach a market, whatever they had created had a better chance of reaching the very people who would want what they were putting out into the world.

The trick for each of them was to find something they really, really, really wanted to do and pursue it with gusto.  How did they find what they really wanted to do?  Some got quiet and listened to their inner nudges, others looked for gaps in their community, still others came upon their venture through the good fortune of being exposed to the opportunity through someone else.  Above all, these entrepreneurs were engaged in their lives, their communities, their needs and those needs of the people around them and from that arose the seeds of their ventures.

I like to call this keeping your antennae up – being almost hypervigilant about what’s around you – intensifying your senses and paying attention, almost as if your life depended on it.

So if you are wondering what you are going to do to fully express yourself in the world, put less attention on the fret that you haven’t found what that is yet and more attention on observing the world around you – look for gaps, look for opportunities, look for inspiration. Consider what you find yourself complaining that someone should do something about – you may just stumble on your own scrappy startup opportunity – and the world will be better for it.

Thanks for paying attention here,

Melanie

This morning’s Good Morning America show featured a supermarket in Pennsylvania, Giant Foods in Willow Grove, where many of the employees lost a ton of weight.  How did they do it?

They turned to the support of their in-house nutritionist, Mary Ann Moylan who guided them to following individualized food programs. Apparently the food chain smartly engages an in-house nutritionist to help shoppers with their healthy purchases.  What a smart idea! What a good example of thinking out of the box since nutritionist are generally employed by hospitals and health institutions, not supermarkets.

Who knows who first came up with this idea.  Did the supermarket recruit the nutritionist or did the nutritionist make a pitch to the supermarket to hire her?

Regardless, this is a great example of someone creatively applying her skills in an uncommon work environment.  If we could all think more broadly and more creatively, we may find more options for us to explore whenever we are looking for more meaningful work.

What are five different unconventional spots for you to find work in?  How might you approach these environments to consider hiring you?

If you’d like to brainstorm with me about this idea, do email me at melanie@startingfreshcoaching.com and I’ll be happy to offer you a complimentary session to start the ball rolling with you!

Think creatively!

Until next time,

Melanie

Many people who are faced with the task of starting a blog wonder what they are going to write about.  And even though I’m a writer (as well as a coach), with two books under my belt, I have had the same difficulty.  What will I write about?  And my fits and starts of this blog have demonstrated that!

Today I realized that I might simply organize this blog according to my model of Dream, Courage, Action and explain more about myself and how I operate as a coach along the way.  Sometimes I’ll be writing about the dream, sometimes about the courage it takes to make it happen and sometimes about the action.  And for good measure, I’ll include notions about beliefs, strategies and allies as well as values, interests, passions and strengths – all part of my model for assisting people to move into their lives of full self expression.

Today I want to talk about the courage part of my model.  I’ve been collecting names for the part of ourselves that hold us back from what we want – and I thought I’d share with you that collection.  When we name this, it has less hold on us.

There’s a part of ourselves that keep us back, even during those times that we want to move forward.  It’s a part of ourselves that has a good enough intention – to protect ourselves, but the impact is that it keeps us from what we want to create in our lives.

I’ve been struck recently by all the different names we can call this part that gets in our way.  In my coach training through CTI, we started off calling this the gremlin, but more recently have found the term saboteur more universally understood.  This is the inner voice that inhibits us, gets in our way, whispers in our ear and brings fear into the equation especially when we start something new.

My gremlin/saboteur is having a field day with me as I write this blog entry.  It’s telling me things like, “This is a waste of your time!  Nobody is going to read this.  You have more important things to be doing with your time.  Remember your to do list?”  I’m doing my best to ignore my gremlin/saboteur right now.

One of my clients told me that his dating coach told him to call the voice that inhibits him from doing what he needs to do to reach out to potential dates his inner duck.  The instruction is to ‘Shut the duck up!’   I really like that!  It’s so irreverant!

Other names for this inner off-track-putting voice are monkey mind, little rascal, inner boss and ego. My husband introduced me to another term that’s used inside prisons in violence prevention groups — inner hit man.

Whatever you call the voice that gets on your case and plays havoc with your life, just know that it is not YOU.   You don’t have to put up with its nastiness.  You can ask it to speak to you more politely.  And you don’t have to let it derail your plans for your work/life.  It can have its say, but not its way.  YOU get to determine the course of your life.

It’s comforting to know you’re not alone in hearing this inner challenging voice.  I remember my leader/mentor Henry Kimsey-House making the connection between the inner voice we all have and the voices the character in the movie A Beautiful Mind had to contend with  – schizophrenics hear voices – and so do we all!

So spend some time deciding what you want to call your derailing inner voice and then disable it from having sway over you.  Recognize you are more than this voice!

Until next time,

Melanie