I told my friend Jean Feraca, host of Here on Earth recently how much of a genius I feel in her presence. She always brings out the best in me. She told me that was one of the nicest compliments she ever received. Truthfully, I was not going for buttering her up - I was sincere in my admission. Some people set a climate for our inner geniuses to emerge - Jean is one of those people for me.
We’ve had a friendship for almost two decades, starting when I was a guest on her earlier radio program, Conversations with Jean Feraca. That very first time I appeared on her program, promoting my first book, Fired for Sucess: How to Turn Losing Your Job into the Opportunity of a Lifetime! I came away sounding like a brilliant person and I glowed in the aftermath. My husband who tends to be my most truthful mirror greeted me after that show with a thumbs up. He was proud and happy for me and was pleased with how articulate I sounded in his opinion. While he loves me, he’s not apt to heap praise if he doesn’t mean it or see evidence for what he’s saying.
I feel the same level of genius in relationship with so many of my clients - I see the genius in them and they in turn see the genius in me. It’s a mutual admiration. In such a climate we both shine. I have more high quality questions for them and they feel energized and ready to conquer the world. Their saboteur voices in their heads seem to diminish and they are off to their dream pursuits - career exploration, entrepreneurial development and becoming authors.
In light of my experience with Jean and the exchange I have with so many of my clients, I have been contemplating what are the elements that bring out the genius in all of us? It’s in there - waiting to be tapped, but it needs a safe and courageous space as a foundation in which to emerge.
For starters, we feel more of our genius when we are not being judged. That is the beginning place. That’s not to say everything that comes out of our mouths is brilliant; it just means setting an atmosphere in which we are seen as having something worthwhile to share.
Next, the other person needs to be encouraging - liking what’s being said and egging the partner on for more. “Gosh, that’s a great idea, it reminds me of ____”, might be the retort.
Each person builds on what they other is saying and energy grows and grows.
There’s also an expansiveness that makes it seem as time has been still and we have all the time in the world - no rush, just excitement.
I’m sure there are other elements, and I’d like to explore them with you, but for now, start noticing yourself - what are the conditions under which your genius is apt to emerge? Who are the people around whom you feel the smartest?
Start noticing this and together we may be able to identify more and more of this.
Thanks for considering this with me.
Until next time,
Melanie