Today in conversation with a client who has recently left corporate America – actually she lost her job with thousands of others at her company – we started sifting through who she wants to be as she reconstitutes herself. She’s considering a combination of consulting, training and coaching. But she’s wondering about her stint in the corporate world. She had to give up so much of herself to fit there. We both laughed when we thought of the book title, Do I have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You? and recognized how appropriate it could be seen as the compromise for fitting into corporate America!
This naturally right brained woman found herself leaning more heavily on her left brain, working the many years she did in the corporate arena. She’s read Dan Pink’s A Whole New Mind and realizes that what’s really needed today is a person who uses both sides of the brain. But many corporations or more specifically people in corporations won’t yet bow to that need. So many corporate environments are steeped in traditions that keep people chained to processes that go against their own natures. What’s with this?
When we think of relationships in which one partner gives up his or own nature to exist in a relationship we consider that co-dependence. It seems to me I remember reading a book many years ago that likened workers in corporations to co-dependent partners. So that analogy is not surprising. But if we agree that this arrangement is not healthy in familial relationships, why do we put up with it in a work environment? Do we have to give up being ourselves to keep our jobs in corporate America?
Obviously not. This woman turned herself into a pretzel, but lost her job anyway. So why not just be ourselves in the corporate environment? If we tend to be right brained, why not show our stripes?
This whole question reminds me of the first wave of women who entered corporate America in droves, my cohort, the baby boomers. We had to learn how to dress for success, don that navy blue suit and enjoy the privilege. We had to make ourselves look like we fit in as much as possible.
But then we forgot who we were (some of us) along the way. Many in younger generations are not standing for this. But I must admit: I do still see numbers of people who are continuing to turn themselves into pretzels to stay in corporate America. And they are not happy about it.
I challenge you to consider this question: Are you giving up being you to stay put in the work environment you’re in? Are you satisfied with this arrangement? If not, what are you going to do about it?
I’d love to help you tackle that question. The work world needs the real you, not a pseudo you!
Until next time,
Melanie
Hey, nice post, very well written. You should post more about this. I’ll definitely be subscribing.